Dear sanitary pad makers, stop irritating us with your insanely unrealistic ads

 

If there's one word that is potent enough to make any woman shudder is--periods. After all, the cramps and the discomfort never lets you live in peace during that time of the month. But, there's something else that makes period even more painful--unrealistic sanitary pad advertisements.

Be it taglines like "happy period" or women jumping around in white pants, there's nothing realistic about those advertisements. What's a happy period anyway? I have never been happy during my period. In fact, I know a lot of women who will agree to what I'm saying. Actually, I am never happy before my period as well--thanks to the PMS.

As if blood flowing out of my body isn't enough to cause me distress, I have to endure these nonsensical ads too. So, after much consideration, I have decided to write a letter to these sanitary pad makers. And here's how it goes:

Dear sanitary pad makers,
I understand that you work pretty hard to make those bulky diaper-looking pads. But tell me something:

Who Bleeds Blue In Real Life?
To be honest, no one bleeds blue unless Indian cricket team is playing a match. If you really have to show blood, why not use more realistic colours? Don't tell me that you are grossed out by the colour of the blood. If that is the case, then you should not be in the business of manufacturing sanitary napkins, anyway.

How about you use pink if you are afraid of offending people? Pink is nice. I know you might find it "girly" too. Perfect for your product I should say.

I Will Never Run Marathons Or Ride A Horse On My Period

You know what I like to do instead? Curl up in my bed and cry, while I wait for death's sweet embrace. Have you ever met any woman, who can run around while blood is gushing out of her vagina? Trust me when I say that being on your period is one of the most painful things ever. EVER.

Ask a woman and she will tell you how her uterus has absolutely no chill and how debilitating menstrual cramps are. Go ahead, ask.

Why Try To Soak Up An Entire Pool With A Sanitary Napkin In Your Advertisements?
I understand you want to showcase how efficiently your sanitary napkin can soak up all the blood. After all, those super absorbent gel-lock technology definitely needs to be advertised. But, let me tell you something--no one bleeds a pool of blood on their period.

No really. If I'm ever found bleeding that much blood, it must be because I'm haemorrhaging and should be taken to a hospital.

And Why Would A Woman In Her Right Mind Wear White Pants?

Yes, your pads are available in XXL sizes and they cover my entire bum. But, why would I still wear white pants on those days? Do you have any idea how much time women waste on checking for stains when they are on their periods? And the stress of leaving abstract red painting on chairs is just too much to handle.

Get Rid Of Those Non-discreet Perfumes You Use To Make Scented Sanitary Pads
Or I would appreciate if you could a perfume that I can stand myself. To tell you the truth, these scents are so not discreet and everyone around me gets to know that I am menstruating. 

Yes, you want my hoo-ha to smell like a garden, I understand. But this particular smell is enough to make anyone gag. Maybe try the new perfumes available in the market?

To be honest, all the women are absolutely fed up of your unrealistic advertisements. If only you talked to real women and understood how much you irritate us, you would know better. And lastly--no I won't have a happy period because it's physically impossible to have one.

Yours Truly,
Every woman ever.