And then, he groped me...

There's hardly a day, when you don't come across an article or a post, telling a heartbreaking tale of violence against some unfortunate woman. You seethe in fury as the humiliation and pain feels familiar. After all, it's not fiction. And it's not a 180-minute imaginative tale on the silver screen. It's the reality of our lives. Eve-teasing, molestation, rape, and groping are tragedies that women endure every f**king day!

We feel scared to enter a crowded bus, we are petrified of walking alone on deserted roads and alleys, and we feel exhausted defending every inch of our body 24/7. For years, we have hoped and prayed for a miracle to put some sense into the minds of such men. But, that's just fantasy right? Because it's clearly not happening and the stats show the same.

Also read: Ranveer, it's not your sexist ad we have a problem with. It's your mindset

According to a research conducted by ActionAid, more than four in 10 women (41%), experience harassment or violence before the age of 19 in India. Sadly, it is during their formative years, that they first encounter men, who scar them for life. The survey reveals that six per cent of women in India face harassment before the age of 10! And these are not just numbers--these digits are made up of harrowing tales of Pooja, Vishakha, Meghna, Kiara, and many more like us.

When you are young and your mind is not prejudiced, the first incident of molestation or groping brings your world crashing down. Twenty-nine-year-old Vishakha Khanna* recalls how she was groped by a tutor, 12 years her senior. "My parents were pretty strict when it came to academics. So, they made sure I had a brigade of tutors feeding me knowledge. They wanted me to get good grades, and they made that pretty damn clear to the tutor. He was asked not to pay attention to my silly excuses; and that's what he did when I begged him to take his hands out of my shirt. I was 13 then."

Then there are those who refuse to take shit lying down. "It happened when I was in class 12th. I was heading towards my coaching institute, which was at a walking distance from my home. I was running late, so instead of walking I was almost running. Suddenly, a man crossed my way at jet speed, groped me, and started walking ahead," says Parmita Uniyal. That, however, did not stop her from reprimanding the psycho. "I followed that man and tapped him on his shoulder. Before he could react, I slapped him really hard, but he hit me back. Though a crowd had gathered, no one spoke up in my defense", she says.

Twenty-three-year-old Kiara Kohli*, too, made sure she taught a lesson to the guy who dared to grope her. "I was 17, when a guy on a scooter abruptly stopped in from me, while I was taking a walk with my nani near my house. Out of nowhere, he extended his hand, groped me, and fled. For a split second I was too shocked to react. But, then I started chasing him and dragged him off his bike. How dare he!"

Also read: Pakistani women dare men to 'beat' them. Here's why we are with them

But not everyone is the same. Unlike Parmita and Kiara, many young girls freeze on the spot and are too shocked to retaliate. "This happened after Chennai recovered from the floods, which hit the city in December last year. My friend and I decided to go out to buy some grocery from a shop that was about two kilometres away. A boy started following us, trying to match our pace. He struck up conversation, but when we refused to entertain him, he groped me in the middle of the road. My friend and I were too shocked to react", says 24-year-old Apoorva Tandon*.

Parents often try to warn their young daughters to steer clear of 'dirty, suspicious looking' men. But, what if the culprit is an old man, who looks as though he poses no threat? What do you do then? "On my first visit to Kolkata, my parents decided to take me on a bus. I sat next to an innocent looking, old man who was simply dressed in a dhoti and kurta. After a few minutes, I realized that his hand--carefully camouflaged under his flowy kurta--was feeling me up. I was just 11 then," says 28-year-old Pooja Goyal*.

Things get all the more complicated if the pervert is someone close to you. "The summer I lost my father, I spent a day with my friend and his family. We were building a make-shift telescope to watch the solar eclipse, which was going to take place the next day. We were playing with lenses and cardboard boxes, until it was time for me to go. His father offered to escort me to the gate. As we walked past the kitchen, where my friend's mother was cooking, and entered the lobby to the front door, his dad put one hand on my breasts and the other on my vagina. I was 14 and he was like a father to me, but that didn't stop him from sliding his hand inside my underwear," says Meghna Kriplani.

We wish we could say that all these are tales of the past. And that it won't happen again to you or anyone else. Because, it will. But what we can say is this: stand up for yourself, and don't stay mum. Each voice counts towards the elimination of these atrocities against women. 

*Names have been changed