8 things your nosy relatives say when you're the 'eligible bachelorette' in the family

Photo Courtesy: Facebook/Ssumier S Pasricha

Lucky are those who have a family. Luckier are those who have an entire family tree. Unfortunately, I have no words to describe those with a bunch of exceptionally prying relatives in their lives. Relatives, who make sure your marriage becomes the topic of national concern, relatives who are blessed with the extraordinary ability to turn the most-awaited family get-togethers and functions into the most dreaded ones with just one question-'when are you getting married?'

If you too are plagued by the same, you will most definitely relate to these 8 common things relatives say. After all you've stepped in your twenties, the so-called 'ideal age' for girls to get hitched.

1. "Now that You've Grown Up, When Are You Getting Married?"
First of all, thank you for telling me, I have grown up, but--when will you? By the way you're late. I grew up when I hit puberty at what, 13? Why didn't you show up then? Was it the law-abiding citizen in you that stopped you or was it just Balika Vadhu?

2. "You're Next, Betaji"

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Wow auntyji! Apart from your talent of spreading gossip faster than fire in forest, you have the superpower of predicting, actually declaring the future. Did someone tell you, you are completely trumping Bejan Daruwalla?

3. "Have you started looking for Rishta's or not?"
Oh, this means they could detect the 'just say whatever you have to, I'll get married when I want to' look on your face. So, they target your parents next and convince them to give up their worldly duties to focus all their means and attention to find your prince charming. Congratulations! If facing this annoying question at social gatherings wasn't enough, you'll be haunted by it at home too. 

4. "Kaam Chhor, Looks Pe Dhyaan De"

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Work=stress=skin problems=no marriage proposals. Such logic! Totally deserves a slow clap! Thanks for reminding me that the sole purpose of my very existence is to look good and attract men to land myself the perfect match. Who gives a s***t about the kind of person that I am, or what I want from life, right? Such double standards, I tell you.

 
5. "Get Married Fast, I Can't Wait to Wear that Designer Saree"
No, please don't blame the nosy relative for this one. The yearly, half-yearly, quarterly, monthly, bi-monthy, weekly, bi-weekly, daily--sales are the culprit here. Now, one discounted designer saree decides your fate. Ghor kalyug!

6. "Age Nikal Rahi Hai, Baad Mei Acha Ladka Nahi Milega?"

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And this marks the return of Bejan Daruwalla! If you don't get married as per this relative's will, you'll never get a good match, or remain single for the rest of your life, or even die a virgin. As if, there's nothing beyond marriage in this world.

7. "When I Was Your Age…"

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'Betaji, I had 10 kids at your age, you know'.  No auntyji, I don't know, I don't want to know. Please stop acting like you're still my age at 40. Pressurizing an innocent, unmarried lass to have kids when she's no more than a kid herself! How 40-year-old's-advice-like does that sound? Oh and 10 kids! Whatever happened to family planning!

8. "Koi Pasand Hai Toh Bata Do"
And suddenly, Pammi aunty, whose favourite time pass happens to be gossiping about her cousin's chaachi's tayaa's daughter's son's maami's pet bitch running away with a street dog-wants to become your best friend, because, you know what, your secret is going to be safe with her; and she only wants to help you, after all. Just so you know, factors like career and independence aren't legitimate reasons in the eyes of Pammi aunty and the likes of her if you don't want to get married right now.