In love with a commitment phobe? Here is how you can build a lasting relationship with him

Don't worry girls; there is still hope for you. Photo: Shutterstock/Indiapicture

If you have landed on this page, in all probability, this is how your current situation seems like: You have been seeing this guy for a while now and you eat, party, travel blabber with the dude. Yet, the only thing he seems to be committed to are his commitment issues.

If you are jilted by the notion that you can't change a man already, here is Delhi-based relationship counselor Dr. Nisha Khanna's expert take on how to make your man come around. There's hope girls. Although a tad late, George Clooney got hitched  too.

Get Down to the Bottom of the IssueMen have issues. Sigh! (no pun intended). But what's true love without its set of complications anyway? How about understanding the reason behind his complications instead of jumping to conclusions first? He might have that beefed-up exterior, but the internal emotional baggage could be heavier.  Maybe it is his ex-girlfriend's betrayal or his parents' bitter relationship or his fear of losing his freedom that is driving him nuts and keeping him from taking the plunge. Being Patient and Mature Pays It may seem like forever, and the curse words in your head might be becoming grander but patience is a virtue. Constant rants will only pressurize him and drive him away. "Be patient. Taking baby steps into the relationship is going to give him time to get to know you better and overcome his doubts. It will lessen his internal struggles and build his confidence in you," said Dr Khanna. "Also, the maturity to ignore certain hurtful things he might say to you because of his own baggage is crucial," she adds. Ladies, a relationship is a process-a slow P.R.O.C.E.S.S.

The more you pester him with the together-forever notion, the more he'll want to run away. Photo: Shutterstock/Indiapicture

Because 'Space' is Not Just for NASAI hate to break it to you girls, but your together-forever discussions sound like 'it is getting serious, so, run, run, run' to him. No way in hell can you force him to feel the same way, but giving him his space can help you a great deal. Come on girls, let him miss you a little. Let him have his time off to realize his feelings for you. Nagging, taunting, fighting can make you seem clingy and men being men, will typically run away from any woman who is a threat to their freedom and peace of mind.

Balance is KeyYou can play hard-to-get or dress your best to make him feel like he's got a trophy. Yes, feeling like an achiever is good for his ego, but so is having someone who makes him feel wanted. Having said that, the power of being complacent about your looks and just chilling with him like a buddy; should not be underestimated. "Make him see how compatible you two are and he will start shedding his inhibitions. Also, being there for him is crucial but don't become his emotional crunch, instead, make him realize he is capable of taking care of himself, " suggests Dr Khanna.

Communicating your needs and expectations clearly to your partner is important but it has to happen the right way at the right time. "A commitment-phobic man is most likely to be too secretive or  sensitive which makes them not so open to the idea of talking things out," points out Dr Khanna.

Just remember, it is all about striking the right balance between each role.The 'I Love Me' RuleLet not your partner's cold, cold, commitment-averse heart make you feel like anything less than a princess that you are. "Lower your expectations and invest less in him and more in yourself. Concentrate on your career, family, friends and lifestyle. There is more to life than just a relationship," said Dr Khanna. We couldn't agree more.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

And then, if you still feel dissatisfied with your relationship, it's time to let go. Sometimes the only CP that can give you happiness is Connaught Place-not a commitment phobe (cheesy, but true).